Chapter 1168

Have I really been wrong? (3)

«Wha…»

Jo Geol looked around with bewildered eyes. However, no one spoke up to defend or explain. The words weren’t directed at Jo Geol alone — they were for everyone.

«What do you mean…»

«Don’t you think it’s accurate?»

Beop Jong tilted his head.

«Among you, who suggested going to save Haenam?»

«…»

«Was it Hwasan Geomhyeop’s own decision?»

Beop Jong’s gaze pierced through Baek Cheon. Baek Cheon unconsciously lowered his head as if he had committed a crime.

«Even if they suggested it, you should have stopped them. It was too obvious who would be the most at risk on that journey to Hainan Island.»

«…»

«But whether you knew or not, in the end, you would have gone to Hainan. And, of course, Hwasan Geomhyeop would be at the forefront.»

No one dared to refute. Deep down, they knew the likelihood of it happening.

Hasn’t Hwasan always been like this?

«Hwasan has repeatedly undertaken tasks that could not be described merely as reckless. Setting aside Maninbang, what about the Northern Sea? The Yangtze River? And then Hangzhou?»

With each mention of these incidents, everyone’s faces twitched slightly.

«Was there any place among them that wasn’t dangerous? Was there anywhere you didn’t have to risk your life?»

«…»

«And at the forefront, as if it were a given, was always Hwasan Geomhyeop.»

Jo Geol bit his lip.

For Jo Geol, those words, which were actually just facts, were a rebuke, pointing out how they had consistently placed Chung Myung at the most dangerous places until now.

«Risking your lives countless times, returning alive each time. And those achievements were indelibly linked to the brilliance and glory of Hwasan and Cheonumaeng. Those who followed him naturally discussed righteousness and boasted of their performance. However…»

Beop Jong looked at everyone with stern eyes.

«I ask you, if Hwasan Geomhyeop wasn’t at the forefront, could you really have risked your lives and fought those battles? Could you have continued to be righteous, even if it meant death?»

«…»

«Probably not. Yes, probably not.»

Beop Jong’s voice was resolute.

«You couldn’t have done it. Until now, you might have thought the courage came from within, but the reason you could bravely face formidable enemies was because Hwasan Geomhyeop was in front of you. Until now, you mistakenly believed it was your own courage.»

Baek Cheon bit his lip.

The realization that he couldn’t refute, a single thing that was tormenting him.

«Of course, it’s not to say that having expectations when someone like Hwasan Geomhyeop is in front of you is wrong. It’s only natural to hope for that. However…»

Beop Jong slowly shook his head.

“In the end, that reliance will turn into the burden pushing Hwasan Geomhyeop on his shoulders. Someday, after forcing him into his death, you will regret it, realizing what you’ve done.»

Beop Jong’s eyes, now away from Baek Cheon, turned back to Jo Geol.

«But does that mean even Shaolin has to rely on him? Should I, unable to do anything, load even greater burdens on those shoulders?»

«That’s…»

«At least, that’s not Shaolin’s way. It is definitely not something I, as a leader, should be doing.»

Jo Geol clenched his fist as if he couldn’t breathe. 

There was no way to refute.

Jo Geol had to acknowledge, that at some point he stopped regarding Beop Jong as an impressive figure.

His position as the leader of Shaolin might be significant. Also the virtue he held and his martial arts prowess one should respected, but Jo Geol did not think he was someone he should respect or be wary of as a human being.

So far, everything he showed was always one step behind, full of regrets or heading in the opposite direction of what Chung Myung aimed for, ending up in disgrace. 

But at this moment, Jo Geol and the others couldn’t help but realize deeply why Beop Jong became the Abbot of Shaolin. How formidable someone in that position could be. They had, even unconsciously, forgotten that until now, it was just Chung Myung who overcame Beop Jong. It wasn’t Hwasan or anyone else — it was only Chung Myung.

«Do you understand, Hwasan Geomhyeop?»

«…»

«Until now, you’ve casually done things that no one could have imagined. It became your strength, a landmark for those who followed you. However…»

Under Beop Jong’s gaze, even Chung Myung briefly bit his lip.

«You must have felt it too. It was like dancing on the edge of a precarious cliff.»

«…»

«Even if you succeed ten times, the moment you fail once, you’ll lose everything. No, perhaps the more you achieve, the more painfully you’ll lose. It speaks of what you least want to lose.»

Beop Jong quietly asked Chung Myung.

«Isn’t it burdensome?»

«…»

«It is an unknown feeling for those who have someone to rely on. A burden that can only be borne by those who feel they are responsible. The further you go, the more burdensome it becomes. The amount of people who rely on you increase, and the situation becomes more and more dangerous. To continue in this situation, don’t you have to strain yourself more?»

Beop Jong spoke with a sense of pity.

«Even knowing what lies at the end, you can’t stop, can you? That’s the path you’re walking. It’s like walking forever through a thorny path with just your bare feet. Initially, it’s just minor scratches, but as those scratches accumulate, the drops of blood will start to add up. Someday, those drops of blood will become too many to ignore and drench your entire body.»

Perhaps at this moment, Chung Myung met someone who truly understood him.

Someone who understood what he was doing, the life he was living.

«But Hwasan Geomhyeop, is it the only way, really?»

Beop Jong glanced at the others.

«If you join us, you won’t have to bear so much alone. Shaolin and Gupailbang are still lacking, and I’m still dull, but we can share your burden and bear it.»

«…»

«So, now is the time to give up your stubbornness.»

Chung Myung still looked at Beop Jong with eyes full of distrust.

«Surprising, isn’t it?»

«What do you mean?»

«I didn’t realize Abbot could be such a smooth talker.»

It was an obviously sarcastic remark. It was inappropriate when addressing the leader of Shaolin.

However, Beop Jong, instead of feeling offended, simply laughed.

«Living for so long, even a poor monk receives a compliment from someone like you.»

«Compliment? Does it sound like that to you?»

«Well, doesn’t it?»

Chung Myung shook his head.

There was no one as difficult to deal with as someone who had completely let go of everything. Dealing with someone who had no intention of getting hurt or getting angry was quite challenging.

At this moment, Chung Myung keenly felt the difficulty of that reality.

«Words may flow like you poured oil on them, but in the first place, how can you ensure that all of this isn’t just your greed disguised in good words? We’ve already been deceived by the Abbot enough. Initially, when there’s no trust between us, it’s impossible to simply believe because we’re told to.»

«Listen, Hwasan Geomhyeop.»

«Please tell me.»

«As you say, this entire situation started with my excessive greed.»

«That’s right.»

«Then, is what I’m saying wrong?»

Chung Myung frowned. He couldn’t quite understand what Beop Jong was trying to convey.

«Well…»

«Exactly.»

Beop Jong stated firmly, 

«What you’re trying to uphold, keeping the righteous act, can also be considered a form of greed. After all, aren’t people living to pursue what they desire?»

Chung Myung fell silent, and Beop Jong muttered like an enlightened monk sharing his wisdom.

«I merely hope for an easier resolution to this crisis engulfing the Central Plains. To achieve that, my path is crystal clear. If I can reconcile the divided orthodox sects and unite our strength, what could be a better outcome?»

There was unwavering determination in his words, leaving those who listened unknowingly nodding in agreement.

«And my modest ambition — what it creates will clear the thorny bushes from the path you walk. Eventually, it will guide even the way to Hwasan.»

Chung Myung silently stared at Beop Jong.

«Understand one thing,» 

Beop Jong continued. 

«It may sound like an excuse, but everyone makes mistakes. The key is to learn from those mistakes and move forward. Amitabha. I acknowledge all my wrongs, so consider this a humble apology. Please, try to understand a flawed person like me.»

Chung Myung involuntarily opened and closed his fists. Everyone makes mistakes — the crucial aspect is learning from them and moving forward.

Chung Myung listened silently to Beop Jong’s words, he agreed and understood them.

«Abbot.»

«Speak.»

Chung Myung sighed before addressing Beop Jong.

«Let’s assume everything you were saying was right.»

“…”

«But the conclusion seems to be that you are willing to let Haenam wither away and turn a blind eye, supporting its demise. Who will bear that guilt?»

«Who else? Naturally, it’s my responsibility to shoulder it.»

«Is it fair for you to shoulder that responsibility with just your life alone?»

«It may not be enough with just my life. Indeed, but what can be done? Should I demand the blood of others because bearing it alone is too difficult, or should I ask others to share that responsibility?»

“…”

«If not me, who will go to hell? I will accept everything. If it means helping the Central Plains escape this crisis and saving even one more person, wouldn’t it be worth smiling even in the flames of hell?»

Beop Jong smiled. 

«Enough has been said. Now, all that remains is your choice. Whether you accept my proposition or not.»

Beop Jong chanted briefly, then rose from his seat.

«I won’t expect an answer here. I’ll return in about three days. Sect Leader.»

«A-Are you leaving?»

«I hope Sect Leader will make the right decision. A monk knows where he needs to go. May Sect Leader know the same. Farewell.»

Beop Jong, deeply bowing, left the room, accompanied by Jongli Hyeong. 

His departure left an unexplainable tension in the air.

No one spoke, no one looked at each other.

And in that moment, Chung Myung rose from his seat and silently left the room.

«Chung Myung…»

As Baek Cheon watched his back, a faint sigh escaped his lips, and a sense of unrest hung in the room.