-mini story - Limestone Pie! - by Colonist!

Manager: Good morning, Ms. Limestone!
Limestone: *grumble*

*It was day two of the soft launch for M3.Co (cutely pronounced as “Meeko”), but Limestone Pie was already feeling like she had worked there for a decade. M3.Co, the stylized abbreviated form of “Manager Meal Market and Coffee,” was the brainchild of a certain flower shop owner who wanted to branch out into the restaurant business - a “breastaurant,” to be precise. He was certainly all-in on the venture, but the lone waitress on the staff roster? She’d be “all-off” if she could. Who’d thought that a single thrown rock would’ve resulted in this employment predicament?*

*Two weeks earlier…*

Limestone: Unbelievable! I got freaking sniped!

*Limestone tears the parking ticket off from under the windshield wiper of her pickup truck. She couldn’t have been more than four minutes over the grace period of the allotted time that she paid for parking, but much to her chagrin, the Canterlot City Police Department meter goons were very good at collecting city revenue in their duties of parking enforcement.*

Limestone: Who freaking pays for parking anyway!?

*She could only shake her head as she seethed. The boiling finally boiled over, and out of sheer frustration, Limestone picks up a pebble by the curbside and hurls it in what felt like a random direction. The visceral relief lasted just about as quickly as it arrived, for the radiating cracking sound of compromised safety glass immediately followed. Limestone quickly looked in the direction of the thrown stone and could only watch in split-second horror as the affected luxury sedan came careening into her pickup truck, bashing in its rear pretty badly.*

Limestone: And I just made the last car payment a month ago!

*She somehow managed to find gall to chuckle when she realized that she should really start checking on the other driver before lamenting the damage. And certainly would have, had another person not grabbed her by both shoulders immediately afterward.*

Limestone: Hey buddy, let go of -

*The color drained from her face when she saw who it was.*

Limestone: (thinking) A cop! Blow me the fuck up twice over! I wouldn’t be surprised if he placed that parking ticket. This whole thing could be his fault!
Kurt: Ma’am, I saw the whole thing.
Limestone: (thinking) Freaking mind reader!
Limestone: Heh heh, what does “whole thing” mean, sir?
Kurt: I started watching as soon as I heard you say “unbelievable.”

*Officer Kurt Marshall wasn’t part of the parking enforcement authority, but moving traffic violations did fall under his secondary duties. Errant thrown rocks into oncoming cars certainly fell under those.*

Limestone: …am I in trouble?
Kurt: Depends on how bad the injuries are, and how good of a mood I’m in. Let’s go, young lady.

*Kurt pulled Limestone firmly along with him as he approached the car. The front looked worse than it really was (courtesy of modern-engineered crumple zones), and the owner stepped out looking remarkably unscathed.*

Kurt: Are you all right, sir?
Manager: I’m am, thank you. Safety first, that’s what I always say when I buy a car!

*It was obvious who was at fault for the collision, and no one needed any immediate medical attention. Kurt only needed to call in the tow company to haul away the now-totaled vehicles; that, and how to deal with the allegedly short-fused girl in his grasp.*

Kurt: Well, young lady, the rock throw is a potential -
Manager: Oh now, officer, I don’t think any of that is necessary!

*The officer looks quizzically at Mr. Manager. Limestone looks just as confused as well.*

Kurt: Sir, that rock could’ve killed you.
Manager: Oh, I know what it’s like to get ticketed for parking violations, especially when you’re just over the grace period! I’m not so bold as to suggest letting her off scot-free, but may I suggest an alternate form of restitution? Save for our privately-owned vehicles, there’s no harm and no foul. In fact, I do have quite the idea that would make the civil matter even more attractive than the criminal one!

*The Manager beckons the officer to lean closer, and the former whispers something into the latter’s ear. Limestone tries to listen in, but is unable to hear anything. Her face turns even paler when she watches the officer begin to smile in concert with the Manager…*

*Present day.*

Manager: Now, Ms. Limestone, you did agree to work part-time for me for the next six months in exchange for all damages from that accident to be forgiven, did you not?
Limestone: *grumble* Yes.
Manager: And I made it clear that this was going to be a potential breastaurant, did I not?
Limestone: Why couldn’t I switch with Pinkie!?
Manager: I may know the owner of the Sweet Snacks Cafe, but unfortunately he nixed that idea due to his “nepotism clause.”
Limestone: Who needs nepotism to work in a restaurant!?
Manager: Besides, too much paperwork in too little time, and your sister’s already
 fully-trained to deal with the busy workflow over there. With the soft launch of M3.Co, we can afford to make mistakes.
Limestone: Working here feels like a mistake! *grumble* Day one training taught me that…
Manager: Now, Ms. Limestone, sometimes we need to make mistakes to rectify other mistakes. Your outfit certainly won’t be one though. Now suit up, and smile!

*Limestone sighed as she went into the back and undressed. Her frown drooped even further as each piece of the bunny girl outfit joined on her skin. Might as well start getting it over with. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. She did have some input on the special, and her family’s “rock soup” was an easy one to make. Time to test it on the now incoming clientele.*

Limestone: *grumble* (fake cheeriness) Hello sir, welcome to M3.Co! Table for…you!?
???: Technically, yes. I would’ve brought Maud, but she told me to go alone. Plus, she says good luck.

*Mudbriar was Maud’s boyfriend, and the known pedant takes out his phone. He shows the screen to Limestone. It’s on a video call to none other than Maud.*

Maud: Don’t worry, sis…you’ve got this…also…your tits are out.

*Limestone looks down, and to her immediate horror the top has started to flop downward; without any neck anchor support it was no surprise. M3.Co didn’t invest well in the quality of this outfit, did it? She throws off the garment in frustration, choosing to own the indecency.*

Mudbriar: Technically, you’re in the clear. The windows here were one-way viewable. You can only see outside and not inside. Plus, this is a breastaurant, and you’d be forgiven otherwise.
Limestone: You’re not. Now sit the fuck down wherever you want to!
Mudbriar: Your conduct is most unbecoming of a service-oriented ethos. Plus, the lack of a top makes your theme look half-cooked if you’ll pardon the pun.
Limestone: How’s this then!?

*She channels her frustration into sarcasm, grabbing the pantyhose and ripping it clean off.*

Mudbriar: Much better. You still capture the a bare bunny with only the essential accessories.
Limestone: Oh, freaking excellent. What’ll you have, sir?
Mudbriar: Rock soup is technically the only option.

*Limestone grumbles as she goes into the kitchen to ladle the soup from the cauldron into the bowl. At least he wasn’t a perv. How was Maud okay with this anyway?*

Limestone: Here you go, sir. Don’t hurry to let me know if you need anything…
Mudbriar: I do need something now. I need the special per today’s manager announcement.
Limestone: That was tongue-in-cheek. The soup isn’t really normally half today’s price -
Mudbriar: I bought one rock soup, and per today’s “deal,” I paid for two.
Limestone: Yes. Two soups.
Mudbriar: I don’t want two soups. Your breasts will do just fine.*

*Limestone spins around in shock at the brash suggestion, and she drops the bowl of lukewarm rock soup. Her tits were indeed out, but the gall of him!*

Limestone: What the fuck, no way! How did you even come to that conclusion!?
Mudbriar: *ahem* Your sign says, “offer for today only, buy 1 rock soup and pay for 2.” Two what? Technically, there is no clarification of what kind of two things are being paid for.
Manager: (from the back in a feigned ignorant, but gleeful tone) Well gosh, he’s got us there!

*Limestone could only stutter to eventual speechlessness as she struggled with the accursed technicality. She gives an exasperated growl as she storms into the back to ladle another bowl of soup to bring back. She does so, and brusquely slams it on Mudbriar’s table.*

Limestone: Fine, but look at the other sign. Touch me, and you’re dead.
Mudbriar: Oh no, I’m not a cheater. Though technically, the possibility of an open relationship is on the table with Maud. I’m more content with you just sitting in the booth across from me while I look. I do want you to watch me eat this soup. Technically drink. Slowly. Maybe an hour.

*Limestone obliges and sits down, arms crossed under her breasts as she glares at Mudbriar.*

Mudbriar: You know, I think some customers would love to have an angry naked girl glare at them as they eat their meal. Slowly. Technically, it “rocks my socks.”
Limestone: (thinking) Just think of the new truck, Limestone! New truck, Limestone! Worth it!
Author's note: Shoot, disregard the M3.Co hyperlink! The hyperlinked format was not intentional!